Lady Problems

As you may have guessed from the title its that happy fantastic time of the month and fuck my life!!!

So far im only pmsing and being a bitch in general. I'm very emotional..which usually i amnt. My father thinks im mad at him all the time and then im super nice. Bless him he must be so confused.

Dont even get me started on my boobs!!!! Sore is an understatement. Being braless is a no no ass even air hurts them. 

I want chocolate like all the time and crisps and greasy shit...now!!!!! 

Food only makes me happy now.

I cried at an ad for toilet paper.

Punched the press in kitchen as it had no food i wanted.

Drinking milk by the gallons. 

I cant sleep due to pms insomnia(i googled this and its a common problem caused by the increase in estrogen - which gives you energy)cant sleep for the last week.

Ugh my pms comes so early before my period :/ 

I WANNA HAVE SEX..im HORNY !! :////

Just sayin'

And so the search continues for chocolate....

Also just another note i have loads of time now to review products. I know i dont have any followers or whatever u call them. but i dont care im doing this to do something and be proud of something.


i but things like there's no tomorrow so yyaaay!!!

Jeez i havent blogged in ages and i feel like its gonna be a long one!!!

I'll start from the beginning.

I aint in University anymore, things got on top of me and i couldnt deal with it. I also had an ectopic pregnancy which didnt help matters at all. My friend/roommate also got pregnant after me so those elements just made me feel really low and i felt like i couldnt talk to anyone. 

For one i didnt want to rain on my pregnant friends parade and i was still in shock so i thought i was 'fine'. 

I made mistakes along the way between autumn and now. Think i may have lost a few friends and many others trust and respect. Its my own fault and its difficult to deal with everything , not going to lie.

Im now at home getting a few hours in playschools locally and im insured on my parents car. MY 2 loves driving and working with kids. I am currently looking into doing a childcare course which really really excites me. Im looking forward to the future!!!!

I love driving got my liceince 2 years ago and love driving fast and blaring the 'tunes'!!!! I just love the adreneline rush and the control i have.

One bad thing about living at home is my parents. They spoil me, they love me and i know they'd do anything for me and im so grateful to the for everything they have done in the past 21 years ive been alive. BUT they drive me mad ....a parade of questions, constant nagging,where im going, why who when aaahhhh!!!!! just butt out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In uni i had none of that and i loved it...i hate people telling me what to do, ask me and i'll do anything for anyone but do not tell me.

 Another thing is im the worlds worst morning person. I like quiet, no talking but tv. Im weird but deal with it!!But my parents love mornings...,they're the weirdos if ya ask me.

Then there's the love life. God where to fucking begin.

I have an odd relationship with my neighbour since i was 18. Basically we get drunk and kiss,, i love him and he loves me but we only admit it when we're drunk/ tipsy. We go to the pub together he visits me i visits him but we never kiss when we're sober.

We had been at this carry on for a year (i was 19) and he never text me back for like a month (we used to text everyday all day)  then he was in a relationship. **insert broken heart*** I then acted like a slut ..as ya do...then i went to uni and claimed i hated him everytime i got drunk but i still loved him but hated him for it. 

By the time i was 20 and a half and back from uni on mid term i hadnt kissed him or seen him face to face in over a year but he was in the same pub i was and i got drunk and so did he and now the cycle has begun again. I feel different about him this time...no rush of excitement/ butterflys. Its almost like dread maybe i dont know. I feel like i want someone 'new; someone who doesnt know everything about my family extended and otherwise . 

I am more sociable when i text him rather than face to face. I sortof have lost the ability to talk to people in a long converation or keep the conversation flowing since my granny died 2 months ago. I'll do a seperate post on her as right now its still a little raw.

 

TO sum up my life is confusing, uncertain, sad and  
lonely. BUT i know my granny would be dissapointed in me if i wallowed in my self pity so i hope to slowly pick myself up brush myself off and start again.

'keep on smiling ' :)

Depressing thoughts

Secondary school i had many friends and now having moved to college i feel like i dont fit in, feel like they dont understand my weirdness. Im weird, individual, but not changing for anyone.


I'm hoping that when I go to my next college there will be people that will understand me and i will have fun, fit in and not feel insecure or feel like i have to conceal some of my personality just because some part of my brain wants the feeling of being of accepted.


I don't care if someone calls me weird, but when they say it with a mean undertone it hurts. Also people have called me slow, that hurts my feelings, she doesn't even realize she's being mean. Thats the worst bit. She thinks she's better than everybody, except of course the 'popular' pretty girls.


I got better than her on some assignment like aaaaaaages ago and ever since then she's put me down and insulted me. Don't get me wrong a little light jeering is ok , but she pushes it way to far. I have developed a thick skin in the past year but its the fact that we were really good friends at the start of the year and now its different.


I miss my old friends, they all live in different parts of the country and i hardly ever see them. I thought this year would be amazing but Ive been left disappointed.



I think ive way too high expectations.



Blogging is very therapeutic as ive been crying as i write this, feel so much better now :D













x

Jennifers wish list....

Being a student and all money is my biggest let down. I dont have a job and therefore rely on my parents which i hate :/. 

No1 thing i want is a snake skin bag i saw in  river island it just looks perfection *sigh* 

Its exactly the shape i want. I was looking around pennys for the past few weeks and the shoulder straps werent long enough, now i know they look kinda short here but ive tried it on in shop and there perfect. 

Another thing that i really want (well need at this stage) is a hair cut my fringe is all long and thick and my layers need a bit of chopping too. Maybe this week if i get my ass in gear :D love love love getting haircuts and especially the washing/massage beforehand .. divine!!!

In this day and age pennys is marvelous..if you cant afford to go to topshop etc pennys is great for a little treat :) Their quality of clothing and jewlery has come on leaps and bounds in the past few years 

Thats all for now dawlings xxxx